2024 is going to be a hard year to top in some respects, and I don't forsee that I'll have another opportunity until I likely retire to spend so much time reflecting on myself and my life goals.

The year started much as 2023 ended, and I didn't really relise it at the time but I'm now confident that I was suffering from burnout. The working situation at Novata had become complicated, and my negativity was leeching into my personal life, and worse of all I was letting it happen. In short, I just wasn't in the best place mentally, and I was playing ignorant and putting on a pretense that things were all OK.

I'll keep things surface level, but the Product and Engineering function was stuck in what i'd describe as a state of 'limbo' resulting from a void in leadership. The catalyst started in the fall of 2023, where the CPO was suddenly let go followed a couple of months later by the Head of Engineering. In both cases, there was no successor or real plan in place to fill the void(s) and I suddenly found myself feeling somewhat isolated, alone and lacking in guidance and feedback. The proverbal icing on the cake was my end of year performance review, chaired by the interim COO who was unable to really say anything of much value at all. I should've realised at this point that my role and future was tentative, if not already decided, but my mindset of putting the health and wellbeing of my reports first meant I never really took the time to digest the reality of my own situation and feelings.

Ultimately though that didn't matter, the status qou remained until april when a new CTO joined, and shortly after the need to reduce costs prior to seeking more investment meant my role would be eliminated. This was not a surprise to me, my role as per my duties had been largely redundant for 6 months with processes developed and rolledout, and responsibilites defined and delegated across the team. All that was left was oversight, and line management. The later which was already in the process of being delegated.

There was an opportunity for me to step into technical lead role, which I'll admit at the time was tempting. But considering the changes over the past 6 or so months, it just felt like the perfect time to 'step of the boat' and take a career break.

With the benefit of hindsight, this was one of the best decisions that I've made in my life.

I spent the first month reflecting and trying to really understand what the vision for my life would be, and over several iterations penned the following...

I've lived a full and meaningful life, remained healthy but have extracted all that my body ultimately had to offer. I've found my purpose and have achieved my goals and dreams, and am satisfied that I've made the most of the life that I was gifted and am content and ready for my next adventure.

During my life, I've made an impact on the world and helped to lay some foundation or keystone that others can build upon towards a better, more sustainable future for my children and by proxy all other life on the planet.

I've had a long and happy marriage, with a beautiful wife whose equally fulfilled and radiates confidence. Together, we've explored the world and supported each other to achieve as many of our goals and dreams as feasible. We've raised 2 children, who now stand tall on their own 2 feet and are were well prepared for life in the real word. We've nurtured and supported them to find their purpose and from the back row bask in the enjoyment of observing them living fulfilling lives and progressing towards their dreams.

Through the journey, we've met many great friends who have shared in our adventures and who have been with us through thick and thin. We've shared experiences and explored life together, discovered new hobbies and interests and created many happy memories which we regularly enjoy reflecting upon.

Moving forwards, I've developed the concept of 'My Garden', which is comprised of 5 areas that each represent the important pillars of my life.

• Myself
• Marriage
• Children
• Friends
• Impact

The intent is that I need to be more deliberate about which areas of my garden I tend to, and which I'm happy to let wither and wilt. It's easy to measure, for example I can simply ask my children on a scale of 1 to 10 how present/attentive do they think I've been recently. Priorities will shift over time, and that's OK. But I need to maintain a healthy balance, and be cognizant when I'm not giving areas the attention they might need. I'll perhaps followup with another piece covering each pillar in more detail, but my main takeaway is that up until now I've failed to properly balance my priorities in life, and moving forwards I feel I now have some structure that I can use to keep me on point.

Beyond the above, the other key revalations have been rediscovering what I'm calling 'Intrinisc Joy', and the revelation that I've been leaning far to hard on external factors to enjoy myself and that I need to get better at surfacing those from within, which I'm making good progress on.

Highlights

• Presence: I've been more present for my Wife and Children than I think I ever have been.
• Travel: I've travelled a lot this year with both friends and family and have had some truely amazing experiences, and made a lot of happy memories.
• Intrinisc Joy: The revelation that I've been leaning far to hard on external factors to enjoy myself and that what I've really needed to concentrate on is creating joy from within.
• Content: I've already got all the key ingredients I need in life, and I don't need to seek out more than I already have.
• Focused: I've decluttered my life, and developed the muscle to just let guilt and other feelings go.

As the year closes out, I will close by saying that I simply feel content. And looking forwards to the year ahead, I'm feeling very positive and better equiped to focus on the things that really matter in life.